Damn...my whole damn fucked-up body is acting up again...wanna die man...the knuckles r FUCKING aching like hell and the ribs r oso trying to kill me....SHIT!!! the worst is my fucking elbow...FUCK...damn pain...juz cuz the bone flew out frm there a few yrs back...duz not mean tt it must keep trying to kill me with pain...FUCK...

Actually all these are bcos i went to play badminton with Zhenkai, Ivan, Kenneth, Hong Shing, Choon Searn and Zi Heng...damn...juz recovered frm 2 damned operations a few months back...still going through pysio..and i m alr pushing my body like tt..i'm an idiot, aren't i??? Damn been pushing my body too much for the past few weeks...juz competed in another competion and onli at abt 45% effectiveness...damn no wonder i came in 3rd placed...shld have gotten 1st...so disappointed in myself...lost in the semis 82-79, but went on to win the 3rd placing 85-84..yeah yeah i noe i onli won by 1 point..damn...shld have at least advanced to the finals...Damn..Hell No!!i m not making any fucking excuses for myself...Shit...wat stupid reasons like not in full health or nvr train for damn long...FUCK i m not making these kind of lame excuses 4 myself..a loss is a loss any i fully accept it...damn...really hve to push harder..MUST win the nxt competion..Doc tells me if i do these kind of stupid things anymore...i'll be out of action 4 at least 6 months..but do i give a fuck?? no obviously nt..must push push push until i reach the MAX MAX MAX..can't afford to let anyone down..MUST MUST MUST FUCKING win...Damn...!!!! So wat if I have a 2nd Dan Black belt huh??it's not like it can fix my body back to brand new yeah??? so stressed out now tt i want to break someone's neck...going to have operation in the 3rd week of june...what op?? change all the fucking steel screws in me to some new lighter and sexier screws...WHAT THE FUCK FOR???!!! it's not like i give a shit...but no... they have to operate on me so tt i can go 4 MRIs in the future...haha i dun need MRIs ( I hope...) at the rate i'm going i predict that i will kill myself by the time i reach 40..so tt i can skip my midlife crisis ...haha FUCKING hell...DAMNIT...

This post was posted by ME in an extremely foul mood and i might not mean any of the things posted literally..so dun worry..i not crazy...tt crazy at least..haha...but who knows..maybe i m..i oso dunno...haiz

By the way..Ivan Ng...U suck at team badminton...u got owned by my team everytime sucka...by the way Ken...pairing with u was still the BEST!!! HAHA